How to Encourage Effectively

 Who doesn't like to hear kind and encouraging words directed to them? 

Studies have shown that there are great benefits of positive, verbal encouragement - especially when it is consistent - as it leads to more positive thinking. There are a few ways to express encouragement that help it to be its most beneficial to the recipient. And, its no surprise, you will feel the incredible benefits of being the kindness-giver. 

First, Be Sincere. Tossing kindnesses all about is a wonderful thing, unless it comes across as insincere.  When someone is genuine, it is communicated through their mannerisms and will increase the credibility of their encouragement with their audience. This can differentiate the sincere, encourager from random, positive, verbal-joy-flingers. By the way, we LOVE the verbal-joy-flingers and their magical flitting about. But, in terms of one-on-one, sincere encouragement. It only takes a moment to say something nice to someone else. Add just that extra conscious effort to communicate with sincerity. 

Second, Be Specific. What has impressed, delighted or inspired you about another? Their vibrant smile? Their humble apology? Their work ethic? When you encourage someone, its nice to tell them specifically what it is about them that you're feeling good about and even how it has inspired or impressed you. Being specific in your encouragement takes just an extra breath, but can ensure the receiver will not soon forget how important and valuable that their presence is. And, for each person to have an opportunity to be reminded of their innate value in just being themselves, that's incredibly powerful, motivational and inspirational. 

Third, Be Spontaneous. Practicing encouragement helps us be better at giving it, and in so doing, helps raise the level of positive energy that radiates from us. Scientific studies have proven that this attracts more positive people, things and situations to us. So, being positively, verbally expressive helps ourselves. Engage in spontaneous encouragement. Practice telling that co-worker that you're inspired to see how hard they work and how persistent they are. Let the barista at the coffee house know that their warm smile is nice to see. Take a moment to walk over to the man that just helped an older woman open a door and let him know that his act of kindness was really nice to see. 

And, I simply must add that practicing sincere, specific, spontaneous encouragement is wonderful with most people at most times. However, beginning with those closest to us can reap relationship rewards that will be astounding. Kindnesses can re-invigorate a relationship and re-establish trust, respect and love.  Focus on the positives within your relationships and give others the benefit of the doubt and your relationships with those closest to you will improve.  

It's always nice to verbalise your gratitude specifically: "Thank you for making dinner. I know you're tired and I appreciate it", "Thank you for taking the bins out. You are such a great help", "You look fantastic. Blue is a great colour on you", etc... Practice, practice, practice looking for the lovely things to encourage sincerely, specifically and spontaneously and enjoy the expansion of your own, wonderful glow.

Sunny Doench - The Daily Hug